Where Are You From?

Willis Tower (formerly Sears Tower) in Chicago as seen from the Chicago river (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

One of the things I love most about the conversations with my daughters is how much I learn. 

Shelby has been talking about moving back to Texas when she is grown. I admit the mom in me takes a hit every time she says it. There’s a certain panicky feeling that goes along with this desperate need to talk her out of it. After all, the last thing I ever want in this life is for my babies to be far from me. What if they need me? What if they get hurt? Or married? Or have babies of their own? 

All these thoughts run rampant through my head. And before I knew it, I managed to say every negative thing about Texas I could to my daughter in an attempt to dissuade her. 

What it lead to was her being angry with me. So last week, we were talking and I was telling her about someone I know who constantly puts down Chicago and Illinois and how much it irritates me. Chicago isn’t perfect but it’s my hometown! It’s full of history and beauty and skyscrapers and unusual people and the weather is perfect…for a true Chicagoan. I’ve always been very open about how much I love the north. I love the change of seasons. I love the short summers and the long winters. I love snow! This is MY town, my city, my state….my little corner of the world and you’d better not say anything against it! That’s just how I feel. 

I expressed all this to my Texas-born daughter and then began to rail on how much I hated being in Texas, being away from my family, away from my land, away from the snow and the changes of weather. I told her how much I hated the heat that starts in February and lasts until December. I went on and on. 

And she looked at me and she said, “But Mom, that’s where I was born. That’s MY Chicago, if you will. That’s home to me, in a way. And it hurts me to hear you say bad things about it like you don’t like others to say bad things about the north and Chicago.” 

Ugh!!! A thousand whip lashes across my back!!! Well, perhaps that’s overdoing it just a little. But point well taken, Shelby. I conceded and pulled out the old “wherever you wind up in life, as long as you’re content, so am I” all the while dying inside.

I have to remember that Texas was my wilderness, not hers. Texas was my bad place yet something wonderful was brought me while I was in the “desert” (if you will) and that is my two babies. Looking back now, I think I clung to those two for life. They were more than my children; they were my life raft. But I digress. That is a conversation for another time.

I made the commitment to Shelby not to speak negatively about Texas anymore. And should she wind up there, I will rejoice with her, visit her often, pray for her always and be content in the fact that she will be there following her dream.